(In the elevator: An elderly man, dad & myself)
Ben: (opens up an envelope) Aw man.
Dad: So how did it do?
Ben: It went down again.
Elderly Man: What went down?
Ben: Er… my stocks.
Elderly Man: Young man don’t you worry, success is about picking yourself up after you have fallen down. (Makes dramatic exit out of elevator).
Why do I keep attracting conversations from weirdos!
(In the car)
Mum: What kind of song is this? When do they start singing?
Ben: It’s House music, there’s no singing.
Mum: House music? Are those like music played at home?
Ben: Actually they are played more in clubs.
Mum: Shouldn’t they be called “Club” music then?
Ben: Mum, I don’t question how your Carpenters and Air Supply derive their names.
Mum: You’re right. Who produced this song?
Ben: Dead Mouse.
(On our way to family brunch)
Sis: Do you court girls in the club?
Ben: Well I try to but seems like my pick up line has always been greeted by cold shoulders.
Sis: What exactly do you say to them?
Ben: “Why don’t you and I go back to a more conducive mating environment so I may fertilise your eggs and create life in that oh so healthy hips of yours.”
Sis: No wonder you get turned down, women want something more long term. Work on that.
Ben: “Then I shall work really hard to send that life in your hips to college, buy us a house, two cars and a proper burial ground for our corpses.”
Sis: Better.
(While queuing at Big Apple)
Ben: Dude, I think I know how the holes in doughnuts came about.
Friend: Yeah?
Ben: Once there was this horny baker-
Friend: STOP!!
Just Sewjin 